The only constant
The only constant-
I am pretty sure the only consistent thing in my life, is that everything is constantly changing. It is a constant shift- trekking me along through each up and down. The downs have been a little painful and it makes it easy to forget why I am doing what I do. The hard times make life as a freelancer, extremely difficult. Trust me, IT REALLY IS GREAT, but there are the few components that make it really hard for myself. Each job makes its’ rotation- just like the days of the week- they come and they go quite frequently. You can imagine getting super comfortable- but that normally doesn’t happen. I try to stay comfy as I walk into each job- and trying to be confident enough to get in there, do my job, learn the ways of the company (or whoever I am working with), while making connections, lessons and experiences that will last beyond the job. It is mostly work in theatre, shows, events, teaching kids and even taking care of dogs. As hard as this constant fluctuation of life can be annoying- in my own opinion, having a 9-5 would be soooo much more annoying and would probably stress me out more knowing I am not doing exactly what want to do with my day, nor am I pursuing my own passions. Doing your own thing, also means setting your own schedule. I try every week to map out what I have to do/ what I want to do and start making plans for the week for times to work on products/ websites/ meetings/ blogs/ writing/ and other miscellaneous jobs. I find it very fulfilling when I am able to work several different ventures into a week- and everything seems to align perfectly (ahh seriously the best feeling). But then there are times things get bumpy and things don’t work out like I wrote it down in my planner, people flake, and life runs it course it’s own messy way. But that is also okay, because every time things went completely wrong and all I was thinking was “this is it. I am done doing this shit, I’m getting a real job,” things turn around, and better things start popping up and I just try to remain grateful for all the different experiences as a freelancer; good and bad.
I love working with others on their projects and being able to bring a part of my own soul into the job, but I love being able to figure out which way my heart wants to lead me and having a sense of freedom. I have been fortunate enough to have made connections to have been able to tie my own “soul projects” into others. My “soul projects” are some things that sort of remain the same. Well, I guess not really- but the fact they are my own are the same. And I am just recently becoming more open about them which I guess is the “changing” factor right now. I will later get into what “soul projects” are and what they do for me. But for now, I am going through a dramatic life change (maybe it’s just me being dramatic) but that doesn’t matter because all of those uneasy feelings I feel before life makes its’ switch up, are valid. And I need to keep reminding myself that. Reminding myself to let things transform and feel the ache of things being pulled away, then let go of those bad energies you felt because of that pain. To let go is my mantra for this week; and not not let the pain of change make its’ way to my soul- just let it roll and work with it.
